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If you find you’re second-guessing decision in the days leading up to your wedding, or even on the big day itself, you’re in good company. “I think most people — right before they make any big decision in life — question themselves, even if just for a moment,” says Jesse Tombs, senior event producer for Alison Events. “It’s usually not that they are not in love with their soon-to-be partner or doubting their commitment — more commonly they are so excited and caught up in the moment they lose sight of what it’s all about.”
Here, Tombs and psychologist Lauren Napolitano tell you how to warm up those cold feet with their top tips.
“The vast majority of ‘cold feet’ is related to anxiety about the enormity of the wedding,” Napolitano explains. “So, if possible, scale back the wedding, or cut out some complications.”
“Try the one-10 breath method, in which you breathe in for one, breathe out for one, breath in for two, breath out for two, etc., until you get to 10,” describes Tombs. “Deep, focused breath helps calm the nerves, center the mind and release the butterflies.”
See More: What’s Really Worth Worrying About
Schedule a relaxing honeymoon.
“Your honeymoon is not the time for a rigorous bike tour,” says Napolitano. “It’s time to chill at the hotel pool.” If your feet start to freeze, just picture them stepping into a hot tub. On a beach. With your beau.
Turn to mom and dad.
“Clear the room and let the bride be alone with her mom or dad,” says Tombs. “They always know what to say!”
Get some perspective.
“Talk to other brides or newlyweds to ask about their cold feet,” Napolitano suggests. “Especially, talk to happily married couples with five or more years under their belts to see if they felt cold feet.” Chances are they did, and they don’t regret taking the plunge anyway!
“Often brides get upset because they haven’t eaten all day and need sustenance,” Tombs says. A quick snack (or even a drink) can fill you up and calm you down.
“The best antidote for anxiety is always activity,” says Napolitano. “Take a yoga or spinning class. It will help to slow any racing thoughts that you might have.”
Talk it through.
“Be honest to yourself, and remember who you are and why you are getting married in the first place,” Tombs says. “Never forget that!”
“If your anxiety is causing you to lose sleep or causing you trouble concentrating at work, get help,” says Napolitano. “A therapist can help you to feel less anxious.”