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With our without knowing it, it’s likely you’ve bought into a few marriage myths. Marriage leads to less sex, anyone? “It’s natural to have ideas of what sex will be like once you’re married,” says certified sex therapist Sari Cooper. “These impressions come from the many comments and jokes made about marriage in movies and shows.” They can even come from your married friends! But the good news is you no longer have to believe the myths — Cooper is here to bust three.
Myth: Your husband’s sexual desire for you will plummet once you say “I do.”
“The myth is that once a guy marries you, he’s no longer is as interested in sex with you because he’s ‘caught’ you and it’s no longer a challenge,” explains Cooper. But while every couple, together, experiences a natural waning of desire after years together, “interest is more about keeping it exciting for both of you,” Cooper says. His interest in you doesn’t have to end. “If you happen to like being seduced and your guy likes to chase, don’t forget to flirt with and tease him so he feels the urge to pursue you.”
Myth: Children take all the sex out of a marriage.
Who’s got energy for sex after they’ve chased a toddler for three hours, right? “Women do go through a period of healing after labor and parents go through a period of poor-quality sleep,” admits Cooper. But couples who make self care — and naps! — a priority don’t see a sex slump last forever. “Whether it’s a short run or exercise, it’s important to keep in shape to keep one’s energy up and to feel in touch with one’s body and urges,” Cooper adds. “It’s also important to find help so that you can go out with your spouse on a date.”
Myth: Your husband won’t watch porn anymore.
A lot of wives think once they’ve tied the know, their men will cut back or cut it out completely, says Cooper. “Masturbation is not a reflection on how they feel about their wives,” she explains. “Rather, watching porn and masturbating is a private experience that a partner may want in addition to sex. These two different experiences satisfy different needs and desires for a person.”